Its been a while. I have been very busy at work that I just didn’t get the time to work on my blogs. And I’d say I really missed writing. A lot has happened since I wrote last, there were good and there were bad. But I am truly blessed that I was able to go through all those with the help and guidance of God. I’ve gotta tell you, I’m not a frequent church goer but I do believe in God, and I have a strong faith that I held on and still holding on to amidst the trials in life.
Earlier today, I was just browsing through Facebook. I usually just read stories or articles that are shared to pass the time before I begin on my second work. I saw this article or a video of a man making a vase out of crayola. The artsy that I am, of course I was fascinated. He has his own tool shed with all the tools a guy who’s into creating stuff has. You can see that he likes all his tools and of course finds them very useful for his craft and work. I suddenly remembered my brother in law. He was my older sister’s husband, my sister who passed away last year because of Cancer. I remembered him because he also has a tool shed like the guy has, he was kind of crafty too and likes to make all sorts of things, from cabinets to chairs. I remember him valuing all his tools. I remember him said that a tool is as good as its owner so you have got to keep on learning how to do things and not be contented with what you have learned. He was a very big part of me and my youngest brother’s childhood. He and my sister were together for 10 years before they decided to get married. So he was basically a big part of my growing up years. I remember we used to be close. Me and my brother used to spend summers with them. Like all marriages, theirs isn’t perfect. Of course, in those times I would side with my sister for I always think that she deserves better. That’s when we started to somehow grew apart, me and my brother in law. From someone I admire and look up to, he became someone I despise the most. Then my sister got sick. It was straining for all of us, I know. But everyone handles things differently. I quit my new job so I can be there for her. And during that time, I was really mad at my brother in law. I can’t help but think if he did something sooner this wouldn’t be happening. Then the faithful day came, my sister breathed her last. I was mad, furious and extremely sad. My sister practically raised us, and now she’s gone. And I can’t help but feel like I have not done so much to help her. Even now that it has been a year, it still feels like it was just yesterday. The pain is still there, searing through my heart drilling a hole that forever will be void because of my sister’s passing. I blamed my brother in law, was difficult to him thinking that I lost my sister because of him. And now, seeing this man with his tools, I remembered him. I remembered he sold everything they’ve got so he can at least give something for my sister’s medication and at the same time be able to provide for my nephew, who was only 12 years old then. They lost their house, the one that he and my sister bought together, and when she died all they have were their clothes and things and they needed to move to a different house for the person who bought their house said its time that he and his son to vacate the house. Its a good thing that he has his sisters to help him and his son to start a new life.
I now realized, I wasn’t the only one who lost a loved one, I wasn’t the only one who’s hurting til now, I wasn’t the only one. He too lost a big part of his life, his wife, who he vowed to spend the rest of his life with. I am not the only one, and I feel sorry that it took me this long to realize that. I truly am.