Today the whole world is celebrating the turn of the year. This used to be my favorite holiday aside from Christmas. This year its different. Its the first Christmas and New Year that my sister is no longer with us.
This time last year, I was walking the streets of Manila to buy medicine for my sister. She had cancer, was diagnosed last November 2o14 with Stage 4 Lung CA. We had to stay in the hospital since she can no longer breathe on her own and is attached to a ventilator that helps her. We had our last Christmas and New Year together. It was both bitter and sweet for all of us, especially for me since she practically raised me while our parents are busy working to provide us what we need as we grow up. I can say that I am happy its 2o16 it would mean that the horrible year has ended and a new beginning is set out for all of us its just its totally different. It seems like a hole is drilled in my soul, and no matter how much I want it to be filled with new and happy memories there’s just no way the pain and feeling incomplete will ever go away. Some say that our dear departed loved ones will be much happier knowing that we have come to terms to their passing. I know I wanted my sister to be, I am really trying. Its just that I can’t bring myself to, maybe some time soon just not now, I am not ready.